Do You Tend to Inquire or Simply Proceed?

I’ve never prayed for anything more.

“God, if you can accomplish what you need to in my life and it not include this place, can you please provide a way forward?” I would whisper quietly, sometimes to myself and sometimes audibly over those thirteen years. Without a doubt, God used that season of waiting to prune areas of my life that needed pruning, to mold certain areas of my heart that needed molding, and to bless certain areas of my life beyond what I could have imagined.

The answer to that prayer took thirteen years. Throughout that time, I wrote prayers, wrestled deeply, and learned sincerely how to praise Him for the many good gifts along the way.

Then that day came while living in New York when I felt I had reached my end. It was a breaking point of sorts: I had three children, I was tired of little space and no backyard, and had decided I was just going to live in Texas while supporting my husband long distance. Of course deep down I knew that wouldn’t work, but my weariness from waiting led to me to threaten desperate attempts of control.

Between God and my husband, I was continually ushered off the edge of a dangerous cliff, one I would most definitely regret jumping off. Yet, it still didn’t make that next day any easier, and over time my heart learned surrender coupled with gladness. I learned to rest in the plans of a good Father over my own. Oh, but it was tempting to just proceed forward without a word of direction or clarity.

Recently, as I’ve been reading through the Old Testament, I sat with conviction while reading through King David’s life. To be completely honest, I struggle with David being called a man after God’s own heart because I can easily sit in a seat of judgement at his sin time and time again. Yet I must also acknowledge his repentant heart who turns back in recognition and praise to His redeemer time and time again. I must also acknowledge my sin time and time again.

2 Samuel 5:19 ESV says, ‘And David inquired of the Lord, should I go... and God said... Go.’

This verse in 2 Samuel refers to David inquiring of the Lord before a military battle. Here he was the King and commander; he was one who walked through victory and defeat alike. David knew better than to proceed against an enemy without the clear direction of the Lord, based on his experience, and so he asked for confirmation. What I love is that because David waited and consulted God for next steps, he was able to say in verse 20:

"The Lord has broken through my enemies like a breaking flood." 2 Samuel 5:20 ESV

Because David waited on the Lord and inquired of His blessing before moving ahead with his plans, David was able to turn back to give God the praise and glory due His name when victory arose.

This wasn’t the only time David inquired of the Lord or sat waiting on God for an answer. In fact, he had to wait 15 years from the time he was ordained to rule Israel to the time he actually started to rule over it as king. Not an insignificant amount of time, yet he was able to witness and attribute all that took place to the glory to God.

I wish the story could end there and we could rest well tonight, but there is more.

There were other areas of David’s life that he didn’t inquire of the Lord, namely his relationships with women. David experienced victory in his military battles yet seemed overcome by his passions and lust. He desired a woman and he took her, no matter the cost. He did not inquire of the Lord when he saw Bathsheba bathing on the roof. He did not inquire of the Lord when he forced himself upon her and killed her husband to call her his own.

We see the fruit of his impulse desires throughout his life as well and the consequences were not insignificant.

It led me to ponder, what areas of my life do I inquire of the Lord and what areas do I simply proceed? Do I inquire of His direction with my parenting but neglect to consult Him with my time or my money? Do I inquire of His direction in my vocation but want to do things my way when it comes to my marriage?

In David’s life we have the ability to see the fruit of waiting on the Lord and the fruit of proceeding any way, don’t we?

Perhaps you sense the Lord's calling on your life, but it's not quite time to step into it.

Perhaps you sense a move in the near future, but the destination seems a bit unclear.

Perhaps you sense a certain script for your life that would allow everything to fall into place, but you haven’t sensed a green light to go after it.

In all of these scenarios you and I may be walking through, just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn't mean He won't fulfill that desire, but it does mean it's not yet time. We do have options: simply proceed without Him or wait and follow His lead.

Let’s remind one another that if God does fulfill our desires in the way we envision it, we can rest assured it will be worth the wait, and any differences in His plan will prove to be even better. Let’s rest upon that truth this week.