Trick or Treat: Three Reminders When God's Blessings Feel Painful

We have all been there—the moment when the gift we thought was going to be with us forever was instead lost forever: a relationship, a child, a spouse, a raise, a job, a house, you name it. We prefer the part of God that gives, but not the part that takes away.

“How can a loving God give and take?” I remember writing in my journal years ago.

At the time, we envisioned our growing family, sent out birth announcements online to share with friends and family at a distance, then just as quickly it seemed sent out a notification that the gift was taken away.

My heart grappled with why God chose to give and why He chose to take away.

Then years ago, I sat with one of my best friends since childhood as we processed her declining health. Her diagnosis with cancer did not look good, and as we watched her two children circle the house in laughter with their friends, our mama tears streamed forth.

The pain was too much to talk through, so we sat holding hands, silently praying for this cup to pass. A short month later, she passed away.

Once again, my heart grappled with why God chose to give and why He chose to take away.

Perhaps you, too, are familiar with grief. Maybe a child launching from home, a job that you loved, or a depleting bank account left you with a sense of loss. Or deeper still, perhaps you have walked through an unimaginable loss of life or love.

So, when grief clouds, covers, and consumes—how are we to steward our response?

take refuge in god’s goodness.
During these seasons of grief, we are invited to stand upon the truth of God’s unwavering goodness as we take refuge in Him.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Psalm 34:8 ESV

In the pain or disappointment we may acknowledge God’s goodness, but forget to let our hearts take refuge in Him. We declare God no longer trust worthy because He has taken away, but His goodness has not faltered. Our circumstances have. If a refuge is defined as a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble, then we miss tasting of God’s satisfying goodness when we neglect to see him as safe.

A myriad of options offer their temporary shelter, however, in His great mercy God provides not only protection, but also an unconditionally safe and eternally loving place to dwell in our grieving.

Reflect: In your grief, do you tend to take refuge in the shelter of the world or in the goodness of God?

2. stop searching for earthly wisdom.

While I don’t pretend to understand your personal grief or level of pain, the story of Job speaks to us all. In a fascinating turn of events, Job went from one of the wealthiest men who was greatly respected and wildly prosperous, to a man who lost his land and his children. Literally everything he used to identify himself was taken away. Then, just when he thought he couldn’t lose any more, his health was compromised and he became ridden with sores.

We see this dialogue exchange in Job 2:9-10:

Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.”
But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

I am humbled and convicted by Job’s response. Even when he essentially lost everything that formed his earthly identity, he refused to speak against God. Instead he talked to God. He cries out to Him and honestly proclaims his wishes to have never been born because of the depth of his pain, but all the while He holds fast to the character of God and did not sin with his lips.

For the next fourteen chapters, Job’s friends try to provide an earthly response to the current events. They presume their love upon Job by telling him he must have done something to deserve it. His friends believed that the righteous prosper and wicked suffer.

In chapter sixteen, Job calls his companions “miserable comforters”, and turns back to crying out to the Lord for a response. We must stop searching to find an earthly explanation for the actions of a transcendent God.

Reflect: In your wrestling, do you tend to talk about God or talk to Him with your questions and doubts? How can you guard against sinning with your lips in the midst of your grief?

3. hold fast to the character of god.

I’m convicted about my own attempt to provide an explanation to the suffering of the world, for in trying to make sense of our suffering I’m deeply aware that I limit God to my own understanding. Our finite thinking will always fail short and leave us with more questions than answers.

In seasons of intense suffering or daily inconvenience, we are tempted to view God based on our experiences or explain our pain in error based on faulty assumptions of who He is and how He acts.

In our grief, we either hold fast to our own understanding, relying on our own performance, abilities, or integrity to get us through the pain, or we hold fast to who God says He is.

God waits until chapter 38 to address the situation, and I imagine you could hear a pin drop.

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man. I will question you, and you make it known to me.
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
“Or who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb,
when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and doors,
and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’? (Job 38:1–11 ESV)

The questions go on and on for chapters.

Basically God answers Job’s questions with His own:

Where were you when?
Do you remember who I am?

And Job answers with silence in Job 40, while the Lord continued his petitioning.

The bottom line? We are not God. We cannot understand His ways nor explain the darkness of grief away with our own wisdom.

Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside. Job 23:8 - 11 ESV

So, in a season of grief when God’s blessing seems more like a trick, or when you are afraid to accept a good gift He gives you today for fear that it, too, may be taken away tomorrow:

Take refuge in God.

Stop searching for earthly wisdom.

Hold fast to His character.

And may we come out as gold.

A pastor friend, JR Vassar, says, “You never have to be suspicious of Jesus. We can entrust the fullness of our lives for the fullness of our lives to Him.”

And that, friends, is the truest treat of all.

Faith, ParentingShawna SullivanOctober 27, 2021Halloween, Encouragement, Faith, grief2 Comments

Trick or Treat: Three Reminders When God's Blessings Feel Painful

take refuge in god’s goodness.

2. stop searching for earthly wisdom.

3. hold fast to the character of god.

You know how sometimes it feels like we are just going through the motions, and don’t really know why?

My desire is to help women gain a clearer vision of God’s plan for their lives by learning to say YES to their intended purpose one decision at a time.

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