Lingering Long

The date keeps shifting. The virus keeps spreading. The uncertainties keep swirling.

And so we linger.

While plenty of potential to-do’s and need to-do’s abound, somehow my mind is struggling to settle on any one task at present. There is a flurry of activity and voices from six children under my roof, and it is equal parts joy and extra noise accompanying what already lives in my head. Is anyone else having a difficult time focusing?

I can honestly say, though it will not happen any time soon, if my house was completely quiet for a given time, my thoughts would continue to wrestle with which place to land. It feels as though my goals and intentions are lingering longer in the category of “on hold” while I try to make sense of a new normal around me.

This concept of lingering long includes areas entirely less desirable: a prolonged sickness or pain, the lingering threat of this virus, an extended line where immediate access was once available, the wait for an answer or a desired outcome. This is the kind of lingering that we would never choose for ourselves.

For once in my life, even food is a lesser desire than it has been in the past. I deeply miss spending an evening at a restaurant, menu in hand, deliberating which satisfying entrée to select for the evening. Presently, each meal does not hold the same amount of joy or anticipation it once held. Given the fact that we have ten mouths to feed at any given time feels a bit overwhelming, yet I remain thankful for the consistent time to gather around the table and connect.

The table for us in this season offers endless opportunity to linger long around candle, conversation and cuisine. I don’t want to rush through it.

For many of us each calendar day appears eerily similar to the day before. Admittedly, I have not glanced at my monthly calendar in several weeks because it has become obsolete. Ample time coupled with the seemingly never-ending days of stay-at-home life can feel unsettling, but can also provide the gift of lingering long.

This week I want to intentionally pursue lingering long in reflection, in conversation, in prayer, in reading, in observation both to quiet my own heart and to not miss what the quiet holds.

I can hurry through my day, or I can remind myself of the gift to linger.

I can get stuck in the troubles of tomorrow, or I can allow myself to linger in the present.

I can succumb to the screen that is glaring at me, or I can focus my eyes to linger over the written word.

I can continue to welcome lies of despair without pause, or I can allow my heart to linger over truths of hope.

I can protect the internal dialogue in my head, or I can allow myself to linger in external discussion.

Where do you desire to linger long this week? 

For those in the Christian faith, this is Holy Week. It is a week that is set apart from others as we walk the road of suffering with Christ to his death on the cross on Good Friday and celebrate life through his resurrection on Easter Sunday.

There is an opportunity to linger long on the truth that if Jesus Christ is who He says He is, then it changes everything for you and for me.

No matter where your beliefs are today or how your heart beats, the opportunity to linger remains.

May the gift of lingering carry us on to one day more.