When You Wonder Why Life Doesn't Get Easier
This week I’ve visited my dad in the hospital, listened to several friends retell stories of pain and brokenness in their lives, and cried my own tears. Stress. Overwhelm. Frustration. Discouragement. Pressure to live up to the expectations I place upon myself. You name it—I confess my disillusionment and propensity to believe that life should get easier the longer I live.
With each paycheck, I expect it to be greater than the one before. With each school year, I expect the kids to not struggle like they did before. With each budget talk, I expect my heart to grow more satisfied than it did before.
You know what? It usually doesn’t, yet my eyes continue to search the world for better wrapped in easy and more. My heart genuinely rejoices in worship with shouts of praise while whispering silent disappointments and doubts. I deeply feel the exhausting tension.
My heart is postured to expect the next trial. Rather than persisting in prayer, I incessantly hope I’ve already served my time in suffering recounting obstacle after obstacle from years passed. Over time I’ve discovered with each expectation for better, at least two lies remain: that easier is better and that better is found on earth.
The truth is that suffering still comes in numerous forms, whether our past boasts of joy or pain, and my heart searches for answers or desires for it all to cease. After all, can’t there be one season that feels like a break?
To keep my feet walking and my heart trusting, these truths guide me to seek God’s wisdom above my own understanding:
1. God cares about the depths of my heart more than the extent of my comfort.
2. God cares about the depths of my heart more than the expanse of my bank account.
3. God cares about the depths of my heart more than the earthly experiences of my life.
Why?
He cares about the depths of our hearts, so God allows us to continue walking in suffering that through our suffering we can know the depths of His heart.
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:18-19 ESV)
It’s no mystery why my bible offers the heading “Prayer for Spiritual Strength” above this passage.
In the deep, inner-workings of our heart is where God does His best work. It’s not out there in the world. In fact, the better we seek won’t come with surface sacrifices, diminishing dreams, or complete control. The better we are looking for is found when God’s transforming love intersects with our deepest longings and greatest needs. Only then can we be filled and strengthened for more joys and more sorrows.
So, instead of simply praying for easier and better this week—look for Him in the depths of your pain. Look for Him in the depths of your struggles. Look for Him in the depths of your unspoken longings.
When you wonder why life doesn’t get any easier day to day, week to week, or season to season, trust that He is using it all to usher you deeper.
What do you need to remind yourself of today? Fill in the blank.
“God cares about the depths of my heart more than _______________________. “
Then allow this prayer to usher your heart to venture deeper in the truth and knowledge of your Savior, and be encouraged that He is right there with you. It’s like in the depths of our hearts, in the midst of confusing darkness, he provides this refreshing spring of life that lights our path forward.
The Deeps
(A prayer in the Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions)
Lord Jesus,
Give me deeper repentance, a horror of sin, a dread of its approach.
Give me deeper trust, that I may lose myself to find myself in thee.
Give me deeper knowledge of thyself as Savior, Master, Lord, and King.
Give me deeper power in private prayer, more sweetness in thy Word, more steadfast grip on its truth.
Give me deeper holiness in speech, thought, action, and let me not seek moral virtue apart from thee.
Quarry me deep, dear Lord, and then fill me to overflowing with living water.
Amen.