When You Feel Like You Aren't Enough

Confession: I have always desired more.

Over the years, there has not been a greater personal struggle for me than never being satisfied with what is, especially when it comes to my performance. I am not an Enneagram 3, and I wouldn’t describe myself overly competitive with others; however, there is an inner drive inside of me that wrestles with when to stop striving for more.

It seems no matter what I accomplish, I challenge myself to do better, and it never feels like enough. Our culture praises while marketing plans and sales strategies prey on that mentality, but when held up in light of the gospel of Jesus, it undoubtedly is called sin and we know it leads to despair.

When I entered marriage, about 17 years ago, I carried all of these lies with me like weighted baggage. I thought as long as I cooked well enough, dressed cute enough, looked pretty enough, and talked intelligently enough I would be loved fully and forever.

You and I both know that doesn’t work well for long. In fact, it’s exhausting, because it’s rooted in a desire to control. I believed if I performed well enough then I could control his feelings for me and they would never wain.

What began with me fighting to be enough in our marriage soon evolved into comments and remarks that left my husband feeling like he wasn’t enough, wasn’t providing enough, or wasn’t present enough.

Then I became a mother, and I catch myself on the daily thinking that my kids’ behavior or school work could be just a little better. The crushing reality is that our sin affects everyone around us, doesn’t it? The mirror of sanctification follows us around, and reveals the fruit of our deepest beliefs as we engage with others.

I wish I had a three step solution to help break free from this sin that so easily entangles my heart. The truth is the answer is simple. It’s walking it out in real life that is bloody difficult.

Is God enough?

Do I believe what He says about me over what I say about myself?

Is what he has done for me enough?

We can’t just stop believing the lies in our heart, without replacing them with Truth. And, so here is where my heart lands on those days when nothing seems to be going well “enough”. I meditate on these verses and replace their reassuring language for my own critical thoughts.

Maybe, just maybe, if you find yourself feeling like you don’t measure up. If you have been made to feel less than or incapable as a wife, a mother, or a friend, use these fighter verses as a starting point. Remind yourself what your Creator says about you.

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. I John 3:1 ESV

But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8 ESV

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV

Do you believe this? It’s a yes or no question. Only when you believe the words your Father speaks over you, can you begin to love those around you like they are enough.

Compassion will grow.

Love will heal.

Grace will flow.

And chains will break for the glory of God forever, and your great joy here and now.

Join me … one verse at a time, and let’s keep fighting together.

Fill in the blank.

“Even if I never _______________, I know I am loved fully and forever by a God who created me and sacrificed himself to rescue, redeem, and restore me once and for all.”

God, thank you for loving me so completely. Jesus, thank you for giving your very life, so that I can walk in freedom. Holy Spirit, help my unbelief, and let these truths take root in my life. Amen.